Ivory Coast Reflection, Paper Mods

I find many long and complex sentences, with several compound-complex sentences. 13 loose, 8 balanced, 3 periodic, and 5 parallel sentences.

830 words divided by 29 sentences equals about 29 words per sentence.
A 33 word sentence is preceded by a 14 word sentence, and followed by a 27 word sentence.
7 simple, 10 compound, 8 complex, and 4 compound-complex sentences.

What was to follow in this country, soon to be war-torn, was a flood of media.

Recast: What is to follow in this country, soon becoming war-torn, is a flood of media. Claiming to be fighting for the rights of the Northern Ivorian people, the insurgents took over the western half of the country before provoked into peace talks with the President, Laurent Gbagbo.

Recast: Claiming the rights of the Northern Ivorian people as the cause for fighting, the insurgents took over the western half of the country before provoked into peace talks with the President, Laurent Gbagbo. Initially, the tide of events in the Ivory Coast appeared to be that of your standard civil war, with rebels vying for a more liberal government in addition to civil liberties. Recast: Initially, the tide of events in the Ivory Coast appeared resembling that of your standard civil war, with rebels vying for a more liberal government in addition to civil liberties.

5 sentences in piece with parallel structure.

My sentences begin with an introduction, at which point the subject is then introduced. The word “this” is used to begin a few sentences, and the subject “Ivory Coast” is used on many occasions.

All my comma usage is appropriate, including using commas to enclose parenthetical insertions, using a comma between all terms in a series, and using a comma before and, but, for, or, nor, so, yet, and still.

13. The general consensus of the people of the Ivory Coast was undoubtedly that of disgust with the string of events that was taking place in the country and the economy that they had worked so hard to build. Recast: The general consensus of the people of the Ivory Coast was undoubtedly that of disgust with the string of events that was taking place in their country and economy; that which they’d worked so hard to build was crumbling.

14. I have three sentences that use dashes.

15. I’ve inverted only a few sentences, as to emphasize my point, particular towards the end of the essay. Harping on the fact that the American media doesn’t care about world events until they actually affect America, was a necessary point I made in the essay.

16. The media on both sides of the matter seemed only to care when the situation grew to the point at which they were being affected. Recast: The media on both sides of the matter seemed only to care when the situation grew to the point where they were being affected.

17-19. See the essay for recasting done.